HomePortalCalendarGalleryFAQSearchRegisterMemberlistUsergroupsLog in

Share | 
 

 To all Irish Captains sailing under the colors of France

Go down 
AuthorMessage
Guest
Guest



PostSubject: To all Irish Captains sailing under the colors of France   Sun Mar 16, 2008 12:03 pm

To you all good friends:

Beanachtai Na Fiele Padraig

Here are some jokes I felt appropriate to celebrate St Patrick's Day

Two Irishmen, Patrick Murphy and Shawn O'Brian grew up together and were lifelong friends. But alas, Patrick developed cancer, and was dying. While on his deathbed, Patrick called to his buddy, Shawn, "O'Brian, come 'ere. I 'ave a request for ye." Shawn walked to his friend's bedside and kneels.

"Shawny ole boy, we've been friends all our lives, and now I'm leaving 'ere. I 'ave one last request fir ye to do."

O'Brian burst into tears, "Anything Patrick, anything ye wish. It's done."

"Well, under me bed is a box containing a bottle of the finest whiskey in all of Ireland. Bottled the year I was born it was. After I die, and they plant me in the ground, I want you to pour that fine whiskey over me grave so it might soak into me bones and I'll be able to enjoy it for all eternity."

O'Brian was overcome by the beauty and in the true Irish spirit of his friend's request, he asked, "Aye, tis a fine thing you ask of me, and I will pour the whiskey. But, might I strain it through me kidneys first?"



Three guys, one Irish, one English, and one Scottish, are out walking along the beach together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it. "I will give you each one wish, that's three wishes in total", says the Genie.

The Scottish guy says, "I am a fisherman, my Dad's a fisherman, his Dad was a fisherman and my son will be one too. I want all the oceans full of fish for all eternity." So, with a blink of the Genie's eye FOOM! the oceans were teaming with fish.

The Englishman was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around England, protecting her, so that no one will get in for all eternity." Again, with a blink of the Genie's eye POOF! there was a huge wall around England.

The Irishman asks, "I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this wall." The Genie explains, "well, it's about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick, protecting England so that nothing can get in or out."

The Irishman says, "Fill it up with water."


Two Irishmen, Patrick & Michael, were adrift in a lifeboat following a dramatic escape from a burning freighter. While rummaging through the boat's provisions, Patrick stumbled across an old lamp. Secretly hoping that a genie would appear, he rubbed the lamp vigorously To the amazement of Patrick, a genie came forth. This particular genie, however, stated that he could only deliver one wish, not the standard three. Without giving much thought to the matter, Patrick blurted out, "Make the entire ocean into Guinness Beer!" The genie clapped his hands with a deafening crash, and immediately the entire sea turned into the finest brew ever sampled by mortals. Simultaneously, the genie vanished. Only the gentle lapping of Guinness on the hull broke the stillness as the two men considered their circumstances. Michael looked disgustedly at Patrick whose wish had been granted. After a long, tension-filled moment, he spoke: "Nice going Patrick! Now we're going to have to pee in the boat!


Go mbeannai Dia duit


May your troubles
be less
May your blessings
be more
And nothing but
happiness
Come through
your door

Beanachtai Na Feile Padraig
Back to top Go down
OxBaker
Privateer Captain
Privateer Captain
OxBaker

Number of posts : 410
Registration date : 2007-09-10

Character sheet
Locations: Grenville
Production: Hemp, Rope, Canvas, Cotton, Sails, Textile Unrest Bundles
Requirements: Tar

PostSubject: Re: To all Irish Captains sailing under the colors of France   Mon Mar 17, 2008 5:40 pm

Thanks for the jokes Rejean! Here's one for you in return...

Rejean Lemay rushed into the church, placed his pistol on a pew and entered the confessional. "Bishop McDermott," he said breathlessly, "I've just shot down two British lieutenants!" Hearing no response he went on: "I also knocked off a British captain!" When there was still no response from the Bishop, Rejean said, "Father, have ye fainted?" "Of course I haven't fainted," replied Bishop McDermott. "I'm waitin' for you to stop talkin' politics and commence confessin' your sins!"

Happy St. Patty's Day all!
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Guest
Guest



PostSubject: Re: To all Irish Captains sailing under the colors of France   Tue Mar 18, 2008 3:02 pm

Maitre Rej wrote:
Two Irishmen, Patrick & Michael, were adrift in a lifeboat following a dramatic escape from a burning freighter. While rummaging through the boat's provisions, Patrick stumbled across an old lamp. Secretly hoping that a genie would appear, he rubbed the lamp vigorously To the amazement of Patrick, a genie came forth. This particular genie, however, stated that he could only deliver one wish, not the standard three. Without giving much thought to the matter, Patrick blurted out, "Make the entire ocean into Guinness Beer!" The genie clapped his hands with a deafening crash, and immediately the entire sea turned into the finest brew ever sampled by mortals. Simultaneously, the genie vanished. Only the gentle lapping of Guinness on the hull broke the stillness as the two men considered their circumstances. Michael looked disgustedly at Patrick whose wish had been granted. After a long, tension-filled moment, he spoke: "Nice going Patrick! Now we're going to have to pee in the boat!

lol!

I enjoy a good Guinness... LOL, would be ashamed to ruin a perfectly good ocean full of it to go wee.
Back to top Go down
Sponsored content




PostSubject: Re: To all Irish Captains sailing under the colors of France   

Back to top Go down
 
To all Irish Captains sailing under the colors of France
Back to top 
Page 1 of 1
 Similar topics
-
» New XP colors
» New Irish bar
» Prospectors Recipe Book
» New Shoe Asics your thoughts on which one!
» New TFC Uniforms - ????

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
 :: Highland Confederacy Guest Forums :: The Dockside Inn-
Jump to: